Monday,
July 13 –
Welcome
back to the beginning of the workweek.
We continue reading the New Testament in a year, and today our reading
is back in 1 Corinthians, this very practical, but sometimes hard to read
letter Paul wrote to the Corinthian church.
Our text today is 1 Corinthians 7:1 – 40. I’d like to invite you to come back and take
a second look at it with me after you’ve finished reading the Scriptures.
There is
a decided shift in the letter to the Corinthians that occurs at the beginning
of chapter 7. The words “Now
concerning the matters about which you wrote...” indicate that Paul is
addressing questions sent by the church back to Paul in order to get his
advice, or Spiritual understanding. There
were some questions that were quite controversial in the church and they sought
Paul's advice. The questions Paul answers take up chapters 7 thru 12, with a
last question in chapter 16 also answered.
Paul spends the rest of his letter to answer these questions they have
asked.
The
first of these has to do with marriage, singleness, being a virgin, and whether
one has more value than the other. It is
here we find out Paul was not married. Yet, it is also here that we discover –
against Roman Catholic teaching – that Celibacy, while entirely good if
possible – was not a command for those wishing to serve God in ministry. The opening sentence is reflective of Paul’s
thoughts on whether or not marriage is preferred: “Now concerning the matters about which
you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have
his own wife and each woman her own husband” (7:1-2).
We don’t know the form of the question Paul was asked, but it seems from the
opening that some argued that Christians should avoid marriage, abstain
altogether from sexual relations, and live celibate lives. Paul says, “No.” Sexual relations within marriage are not only
permissible, but they were also expected, and necessary (note 7:3-5). Both
partners gain from healthy sexual relations.
Both should be committed to fulfilling a sexual role for the benefit of
their spouse; after all, a spouse’s body is submitted to the other spouse for
mutual intimacy. It is not just
suggested, it is required for a healthy marriage – “do not deprive one
another...” – is a clear statement of the necessity for healthy sexuality
in marriage, and when it is not present it is an entry point for Satan’s attack
against a spouse. As a Pastor, I’ve seen
it happen many times that one spouse withdraws sexually from the other spouse,
and after a time, the marriage becomes cold, dying of the lack of
intimacy. The only concession on this is
when both agree to abstain for a season of prayer and fasting – it does happen,
but “it is only for a limited time” (7:5).
Paul
now begins to speak about the value and differences that both singleness and
marriage hold. “Now, as a concession,
not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each
has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another (7:6-7). This section is full of Paul’s advice – “not
a command.” He’s not quoting Scripture,
nor is he writing in Apostolic authority. He’s a “Father,” giving them Spiritual
advice. “To the unmarried and widows...remain
single...if you can” (7:8, 9). “To the
married, don’t separate, and if your spouse divorces you, you can marry again,
or stay single if you prefer (7:10-16). One
of the more interesting sentences in this section is Paul’s statement that “For
the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving
wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be
unclean, but as it is, they are holy (7:14).
What does he mean? In the
broader sense of the context, Paul is reminding them that Jesus taught that God
instituted marriage, and divorce was never intended to break a marriage apart (note,
Matthew 5:32). Later in Matthew 19,
Jesus said, “it was because of the hardness of the heart that divorce was
permitted” (Matthew 19:8-9). Paul brings them back to Jesus’ teaching to remind
them that the basic principle of marriage is that it was intended for the life
of spouse – “as long as we both shall live.” Divorce is destructive for everyone
involved. There are some grounds for
divorce given in Scripture, but just because a spouse is a non-believer, it
does not give the believing spouse a right to seek a divorce (7:12,13).
Verse
14 introduces another reason for maintaining a marriage with a non-believing
spouse – “the unbelieving spouse is “made holy” (ESV), “sanctified” (NIV) in their relationship with the believing spouse. What Paul means is that when a believing
spouse lives with an unbelieving spouse, the unbeliever comes in contact –
almost continually – with the believing spouse’s ethics, values,
influence. The person converted is under
the “new covenant” in their relationship with Jesus and the effects of that
spill over into every life the believer has a relationship with – spouse,
children, family, neighbors, etc... It
doesn’t mean that the believer can “save” those who are in a relationship with
them, but they change the surroundings with their faith, and the unbelieving
members of the household are “blessed” by the believer in the family. The home is now “hegiastai” – “sanctified”
or spiritually changed because of the Holy Spirit indwelling the believing
spouse. John R Stott remarks: “Paul is dealing with a group of rigorists
who saw sin in sex wherever they could; he is probably defending sexual
relations and also the birth of children in a marriage between a Christian and
a non-Christian as being ‘holy.’ Calvin comments: ‘The godliness of the one
does more to “sanctify” the marriage than the ungodliness of the other to make
it unclean.’”[1]
This
even extends to children (7:14). Children
are “sanctified” in the sense that they come into the household under the
covenant of their believing parent until they are old enough to take
responsibility for their faith. Looking
back into the Old Testament Scriptures, Paul is reminding them that children
are always referenced to their mother first.
The summary statement in 7:16 is that the goal of living together with
an unbelieving spouse is that the wife, or husband, would ultimately be saved –
come to faith in Jesus Christ. “The
sentiment behind this verse has been well expressed by Michael Green: ‘If one
of you has been converted since marriage, then there is reason to suppose that
the good Lord is at work in your family. And you pray, and you try to live a
consistent life, so that if your partner is not won by your word, he/she may be
won without a word having been said by the godliness of your life.’” Many a couple have had to work through
difficulties in keeping their marriage together. In my opinion, we have created an environment
that allows us to “throw in the towel” and miss the opportunities to grow
stronger in our faith. I often remark to
couples: “you need to stop fighting IN your marriage and begin fighting FOR
your marriage.” If you are thinking of
quitting, take a second, or third long look – get some help and keep the door of
understanding open.
“ Nevertheless, each person
should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them,
just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches (7:17). The shift of language also serves as a shift from opinion and advice to
practical Spiritual truths. If we’re honest,
we’re often discontent with our lot in life.
If I had a dollar for every “I didn’t know this was what life was going
to be like,” I’d have a lot of dollars.
Living discontented lives does not create the environment in which love,
joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, and self-discipline become the fruit of a
Spirit-led life. Paul makes it clear: “If
you are...you do not need to get rid of... to be happy, contented” (7:18 – 27). Jews don’t need to become Gentiles. Gentiles
don’t need to become Jews. Slaves, if
you can get your freedom, great, but if you can’t live in the faith, you were
called to live. Besides, when a slave
comes to faith in Christ, they are free to be Christ’s slaves – in fact, when a
free person becomes a believer, they become a slave to Christ. Because we are purchased through Christ’s
sacrifice, we are never a slave of human beings. It is a hard thing to comprehend but think
about it.
He continues
his advice in 7:25 – 28, Singles, “Virgins,” don’t need to marry if they prefer
to stay single. If they have become
engaged to be married, marriage is perfectly fine... there is no sin in leaving
behind singlehood for marriage, and there is no sin in getting married – but there
will be hard work, “there will be many troubles in this life.” I think all of us who are married can
identify with that.
Paul’s warnings
in 7:29-40, are based on common spiritual sense.
·
“The
time is short...the world in its present form is passing away” (7:29-31). Christians
know better that things are not getting better and better, but the systems of
government, ethics, values, economies...the systems of the world keep moving
away from God. Everything we have has been given to us by God, including
marriage, family, livelihood - all are a gift from God. Still, they are temporary
gifts that we hold loosely, knowing God will eventually ask for them back!
·
“ I
would like you to be free from concern...” (7:32-35).
The responsibilities associated with marriage are never excused by God
and never an excuse to avoid God’s purposes and will. The spouse has a dual purpose: to serve God by serving their spouse, and to
serve God by caring about the Lord’s concerns – “I am saying this for your
own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in
undivided devotion to the Lord” (7:35).
No moral judgments are attached to this, but merely the facts of what
each brings before God.
·
“If anyone is
worried that he might not be acting honorably...” (7:36-40).
The summation is clear: Marry, if you want to, stay single if you want
to. Staying single is less burdensome,
but there is nothing wrong with marriage...only, “stay married,” and if your
spouse passes away, marriage again is okay with a believing spouse.
The
Church has a particular need to heed Paul’s advice in chapter 7. Divorce is divisive, destructive, and the
effects can last into generations to follow.
Marriage can be the most significant thing about living, but it takes
work, hard work, and with the mutual consideration of each spouse to serve the
needs of the other spouse. Selfishness and
individuality are rampant in our culture, and when a spouse adopts that value,
the marriage is hard-pressed to last. Singles
have more freedom, and less burdened by the responsibilities of marriage, but
have to build up a spiritual life that endures loneliness. If your single, rejoice in the gift of God to
be free of those responsibilities of marriage.
If you long to be married, fine, pray, ask God for a godly spouse; yet,
do not settle for someone who is not godly.
Our lives are meant to be full of Spirit fruit – love, joy, peace, long-suffering
patience, and self-control. We rejoice
best when we can reorient our focus and life with God’s calling in our
hearts. There we will find God’s peace
in whatever place he has called us, and we can “relax” in His life in
us. Singles, Married, Widows,
Spouses...God is on your side, relax.
Peace
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