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Day 14, (Thursday) – “Self-Love vs. Loving to Fear”

Lent provides us an opportunity to re-center our lives…to do some careful examination of what we’re doing in life.  Look carefully at our work, our ways of living, our worship, and ask the questions we need to ask – “Am I purposefully, intentionally living, doing the things I know would please my God, or am I being moved along in life by a spirit of my self-love?”  Self-love occurs when we prioritize our will as the central decision-making of living.  We live in a culture of self-love, and it is easy to get caught up in the wind of what everyone else is also doing. 

Lent means I get to step back and make some adjustments to push self-love behind God’s will in life.  Is it easy?  No, by no means, in fact, it’s downright difficult.  The Apostle Paul knew that and wrote to the Romans to explain what this looked like:

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.  So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.  So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.
 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.
 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh, I serve the law of sin“ (Romans 7:15-25).

Seriously, Paul introduces us to new language – the flesh – to describe this self-love.  My flesh is nothing more than my self-love choices that are made despite God’s will.  The flesh will always prefer a self-oriented decision-making model.  Paul reminds us that God gave his Law as a check to our self-love. Over against the Law stands our self-love choices and with that a realization – “O wretched man that I am”.  The modernist in us resists this language as hyperbole – too over the top, guilt-driven.  Yet, Paul has hit the nail on the head.  Then he reminds us that the only solution to this self-love choosing lies in God’s gift of his Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord! Paul is reminding us of the much-needed thinking that must occur in our hearts and minds if we hope to re-center – the Fear of the Lord. 

What do we mean by the Fear of the Lord?  I will turn you over to Saint Hilary, a doctor of the Church who – in the 4th century – lived a life of faith, rising to become a Bishop of the church, fighting against the heresy of Arianism to preserve the orthodox doctrine of the human and divine nature of Jesus.  In this particular treatise, written about one of the Psalms, Hilary wrote about the Fear of the Lord.

The meaning of “the fear of the Lord”

“Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways. Notice that when Scripture speaks of the fear of the Lord it does not leave the phrase in isolation, as if it were a complete summary of faith. No, many things are added to it or are presupposed by it. From these, we may learn its meaning and excellence. In the book of Proverbs Solomon tells us: If you cry out for wisdom and raise your voice for understanding, if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord. We see here the difficult journey we must undertake before we can arrive at the fear of the Lord.

We must begin by crying out for wisdom. We must hand over to our intellect the duty of making every decision. We must look for wisdom and search for it. Then we must understand the fear of the Lord.

“Fear” is not to be taken in the sense that common usage gives it. Fear in this ordinary sense is the trepidation our weak humanity feels when it is afraid of suffering something it does not want to happen. We are afraid, or made afraid, because of a guilty conscience, the rights of someone more powerful, an attack from one who is stronger, sickness, encountering a wild beast, suffering evil in any form. This kind of fear is not taught: it happens because we are weak. We do not have to learn what we should fear: objects of fear bring their own terror with them.

But of the fear of the Lord, this is what is written: Come, my children, listen to me, I shall teach you the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord has then to be learned because it can be taught. It does not lie in terror, but in something that can be taught. It does not arise from the fearfulness of our nature; it has to be acquired by obedience to the commandments, by holiness of life, and by knowledge of the truth.

For us, the fear of God consists wholly in love, and perfect love of God brings our fear of him to its perfection. Our love for God is entrusted with its own responsibility: to observe his counsels, to obey his laws, and to trust his promises. Let us hear what Scripture says: And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you except to fear the Lord your God and walk in his ways and love him and keep his commandments with your whole heart and your whole soul, so that it may be well for you?

The ways of the Lord are many, though he is himself the way. When he speaks of himself he calls himself the way and shows us the reason why he called himself the way: No one can come to the Father except through me.

We must ask for these many ways, we must travel along these many ways, to find the one that is good. That is, we shall find the one way of eternal life through the guidance of many teachers. These ways are found in the law, in the prophets, in the gospels, in the writings of the apostles, and in the different good works by which we fulfill the commandments. Blessed are those who walk these ways in the fear of the Lord.

Peace

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