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The Reluctant Pastor

I've been reading a book by Eugene Peterson that I would heartily recommend.  But before I get to the book, let me say that if you have not read Eugene Peterson's books I feel very, very sorry for you.  You have no idea of the jewels you are missing.

I began reading Peterson in 1980 when his book "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction" which is subtitled, "Discipleship in an Instant Society", was released.  I consumed that book and have re-read it several times.  Then three years later he released "Run With the Horses"; then "Traveling Light"; and on and on it would go. It's interesting that what most people know of him is that he published the paraphrase of the Scripture entitled "The Message" - which I have to admit is good, but not my favorite of his books.

I've read all 30+ books he has written.  WHY?  Why read any one author to that extent.  It's hard to say except to say that his writings touch my soul...especially my pastoral soul.

In 1980 I had been a Pastor for about seven years.  I had gone to Seminary and in the course of the four and 1/2 years getting a couple of Master's Degrees, I had become both a Professor and a Pastor.  If you had asked me during Seminary I was positive I was going to become a Professor.  The classroom with all of it's order, ideological focus, and narrowed format...everything was nice and neat.  It appealed to me.  My students came in to sit before me and learn...they paid money to do so.

At the same time I was a Pastor...an assistant in a smallas much as  church.  The church was made up of people who were not paying me to instruct them...they were people who felt the need to come to church.  Why?  They knew that they didn't have life together...that they needed God.  But I grew impatient and discouraged by the lack of resolve and my impersonal desire to want them to grow.  In other words, while the classroom was neat and orderly, the church was messy; not filled with eager learners, but with unkempt saints...people in progress.

I wanted to become a professor, but slowly through the process of time God began to shape my heart to see that the life of the Spirit is very much alive in the mess of the Church.  I became a reluctant Pastor.

In 1980 I had been a Pastor about seven years.  I was still that reluctant Pastor - Not confident, often discouraged, unsure of whether or not I could continue to do this thing called "Pastor".  Probably no one, except my wife Linda, knew of the struggle inside.  Most people don't realize how often a Pastor in their church is struggling just to make sense of their calling from God.

Pastors used to be revered, hence the title "Reverend"; but not so much these days.  My father looked at me in my early 20's and said "Why in the world would you want to do that?".  My experience is that it is hard to explain why anyone would do that, short of their sense of God's call.

Then Eugene Peterson came into my life.  I read that first book and something happened - a wise mentor came alongside to encourage me and remind me of the bigger picture.  In doing the work of the Ministry its easy to get immersed in the here and now; it's difficult - but absolutely necessary - to not get caught up in the here and now and instead keep in mind God's big picture.  That includes the big picture of what He is doing in the Reluctant Pastor.

It's been a long blog, but I can get to the scripture that inspired all of this:

2 Corinthians 4:1, 5-8,  16-18
1  Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart... 

5  For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.
6  For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
7  But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.
8  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;...


16  So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.
17  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
18  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 

Peace

 


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