Yesterday I posted some teaching notes from the Summer Series: "Potpourri". This is a series based on questions, comments or desires for me to teach on topics of our fellowship's choice. So, I've been teaching on a little of this and a little of that - topics all over the place. It's been fun and I've enjoyed the challenge of coming up with teaching notes on subjects I've not dealt with much.
If you're reading this today and haven't read yesterday's posting, I'd suggest you stop here and go back to that first. The subject is Jealousy. Today, I'll finish the notes off with some thoughts on the Causes and the Cures.
The Practical: What Causes Jealousy:
Here's a few thoughts on some of the reasons jealousy occurs or appears in our lives.
Unmet expectations. Many times we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and the people around us. Often times we feel things should come easier and faster to us. Then if things don't happen when we think they should, we inevitably run into someone who already has what we want. All of a sudden, we feel this surge of ugly, green emotion called jealousy.
A sense of entitlement. For some reason we have this ingrained attitude that we are entitled to things. Kids leaving the nest for the first time believe their own standard of living should be the same as their parents. They don't consider that their parents have worked for years and years. Many times people with financial problems feel "entitled" to buy things on credit, even though they know it's a bad idea. Having the nicest car and the newest toys seems more important than getting out of debt.
Insecurity. It is so easy to look at other people and wish we had what they have. And so many times it doesn't stop there. We start berating ourselves for not having what they have. Then we begin to believe negative junk ourselves. The next thing we know, we've developed insecurities in our relationships.
Identity. We are children of God, and when we think about what that means we have a better view of material things… It is crucial that we come back to this over and over again. I really believe that we can deal much better with material things and temptations as well as attitudes of the soul if we can anchor our identity in being God's children.
If you're reading this today and haven't read yesterday's posting, I'd suggest you stop here and go back to that first. The subject is Jealousy. Today, I'll finish the notes off with some thoughts on the Causes and the Cures.
The Practical: What Causes Jealousy:
Here's a few thoughts on some of the reasons jealousy occurs or appears in our lives.
Unmet expectations. Many times we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and the people around us. Often times we feel things should come easier and faster to us. Then if things don't happen when we think they should, we inevitably run into someone who already has what we want. All of a sudden, we feel this surge of ugly, green emotion called jealousy.
A sense of entitlement. For some reason we have this ingrained attitude that we are entitled to things. Kids leaving the nest for the first time believe their own standard of living should be the same as their parents. They don't consider that their parents have worked for years and years. Many times people with financial problems feel "entitled" to buy things on credit, even though they know it's a bad idea. Having the nicest car and the newest toys seems more important than getting out of debt.
Insecurity. It is so easy to look at other people and wish we had what they have. And so many times it doesn't stop there. We start berating ourselves for not having what they have. Then we begin to believe negative junk ourselves. The next thing we know, we've developed insecurities in our relationships.
Identity. We are children of God, and when we think about what that means we have a better view of material things… It is crucial that we come back to this over and over again. I really believe that we can deal much better with material things and temptations as well as attitudes of the soul if we can anchor our identity in being God's children.
It comes down to what we
believe about WHO we are as Children of God…
Matthew 7:9-11 (ESV)
9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
One more thing to cover that relates to this subject of Identity:
Overcoming Jealousy - The Cure
Is There a Cure for Jealousy? What can we do about
jealousy when it seems to come along so easily and leave so difficulty.
Here's some good news! There are a few things we can do
to stop the jealousy ball from rolling right over us.
- Stop comparing yourself to other people. Fix
your identity on who you are in God.
When we fix our identity on God, we don't have to feel
bad that we don't have all the qualities, features, money, or anything else
that someone else has
- GET PERSPECTIVE: A lot of people get material things but the quality of life goes down with all of the maintenance, time and money needing to be spent to keep them up. I have lots of technological gadgets, but I also spend a lot of time (and money therefore) on upkeep, maintenance and repair. Things don't always make our lives easier. Paul's perspective on this to his young disciple Timothy is worth meditating on.
1 Timothy 6:6-10 (ESV)
6 But godliness with contentment is great gain,
7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.
8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.
9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
6 But godliness with contentment is great gain,
7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.
8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.
9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
Earlier this year I began to plan to buy a fishing boat; but I needed to pay off a couple of other
things first. As time went along I thought about what kind of a boat, how big the motor, what things I wanted on it, and what my budget was going to be.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, the interior furnace motor and cooling assembly, along with the Air Conditioner went out...kaput, zilch, gone! And with it, goodbye fishing boat for a year or so.
A few days later Linda and I were on a walk and she said, "it's really good that you waited and didn't just purchase a boat through financing...just think where we'd be financially if that would have happened."
Good point. Keeping perspective is practical. Don't buy what you can't pay for, and don't borrow just because it's easy to do so.
Lastly,
- FOCUS: Focus on all that's positive in your life - what you have, especially what you have that you didn't have to pay for; and don't focus on the things you don't have. How? Learn to
give things away. Focus on using those gifts to help someone else.
Focusing on the positives in our lives - those gifts like your spouse, the kids, parents, health, ability to walk, or run even - those are gifts that are precious and when we focus on them we don't get caught up in what we don't have.
Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
A few verses later Paul makes the point about how what we think about is crucial to our faith.
Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV)
11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
In ending this, remember that we have an identity that is in Christ first, and we must resist
the world’s temptation to define ourselves by either what we have or what we
don’t have.
Breaking free from jealousy starts with your thoughts...with what is going on in your mind.
When you change the way you think, you change the way
you feel and act.
The easiest way to change your focus is to begin by
helping others. It will definitely be time well spent.
Peace,
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